Wow

Wow, it's been a while since I've updated ya'll with some newsie.

Well, the apartment moving went great and I have the best roommate anyone could ask for. The last few months have been kinda crazy, making new friends and hanging out with cool people. It helps that I don't live with the p's anymore, lol.

Anyways, things have been great and they can only get better. Christmas eve is in a week and I'm super excited. This year has been pretty amazing and a lot of things have changed in my life, that's for sure, bring on 2010...I'm ready!!

On another note, Julian Casablancas released his first solo album last month and I'm in love! Great job Jules.....now we just need more Strokes and I'll be set. Is it sad that I'm ready for festival season already??

New apartment!

Super excited I'm in a new apartment and loving life.
My new roomie is great and so far no complaints.

Yay!!

bears camp.

Bears Training Camp has been successful so far and super fun for me at least.
Check out www.bearscamp.org and www.daily-journal.com to see the latest videos and articles about the camp.

Hope you're enjoying it as much as me!

Much love to all...

aftermath.

The baseball trip was awesome. I had so much fun. My favorite park would have to be Yankee Stadium, but that's just cause I'm a bit bias. Fenway was pretty neat to see, but will never be as great as Wrigley, that's just my thoughts on that...to each his/her own.

I really enjoyed the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, I'd definitely go back. I was disappointed that there wasn't much on Zeppelin, but they had plenty on Jimi, Janis, Beatles and Stones so that made up for it. There also was too much on Elvis, he disgusts me, but again I'm a warped fan of Johnny Cash and Elvis took the spotlight from him. And how could I forget seeing Cooperstown that's always a good time.

In Manhattan, I got to see my great Aunt Penny which was the best part of my trip. It was great seeing her, it had been wayy too long since we last caught up. I also got to meet her new pup Teddy!! He's such a little ham. Her and Teddy showed me around and I got an insider tour of Central Park.

Towards the end of the trip I was ready to come home. I missed having my alone time and being around the fam. Even though I was ready to kill everyone by the end, I had an amazing time and wouldn't trade that trip for anything.

Also....I'm kinda sad that we didn't get the Cincinnati game in....

baseball trip...woot woot

In less than 30 days, five of my buds and I are going on a Baseball trip on the East coast...here's the itinerary...

June 12 — St. Louis @ Cleveland

June 13 — Detroit @ Pittsburgh
June 14 — Florida @ Toronto
June 15 — Cooperstown aka Baseball Hall of Fame, lol
June 16 — Florida @ Boston
June 17 — Florida @ Boston
June 18 — Washington @ New York Yankees
June 19 — Tampa Bay @ New York Mets
June 20 — Toronto @ Washington
June 21 — White Sox @ Cincinnati

And that's just the baseball games, we're also seeing a bunch of fun things on the way, for example the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, the Boston Harbor and Central Park...hopefully I can get into the lobby of the Plaza Hotel, maybe I'll bump into Donald Trump like Kevin McCallister does...love it!
Man, I can't frickin' wait, it's gonna be soo sweet! :)

my favorite day of the year...

The Academy Awards were actually surprisingly good this year. It probably ranks about fourth or fifth on my list.

The 1999 awards will always be my number one when Hilary Swank won her first Oscar for "Boys Don't Cry." She came from nothing and followed her dream. Angelina Jolie won for another one of my favorite movies, "Girl, Interrupted" which pretty much parallels my life, lol. And it's also the year "American Beauty" (another fave of mine) and Kevin Spacey won, so it'll always be at the top.

Next, I think the 2006 awards as a whole was fabulous. Ellen Degeneres was a great host, I don't care what people say, she blows everyone else away with her attitude. The corny things they used in that award show were awesome, lol. Plus, Martin Scorsese got his first win after many nominations, which was presented by Steven Spielberg, Francis Ford Coppola and George Lucas, ahh that sentence gives me chills. "The Departed" (yet another fave) won which also made me extremely happy.

And 2000 when Julia Roberts won best actress for "Erin Brockovich." That was another fantastic moment for me and my fellow feminists. It was the same year Benicio Del Toro won, ahh I secretely love him. And who can forget Elizabeth Taylor when she announced "Gladiator" as the best picture winner, ahh that was priceless! I will never forget it, hilarious stuff!!

Honorable mention will probably go to the 1997 awards when Helen Hunt won for "As Good As It Gets." As much as I wanted Kate Winslet to win for "Titanic," I still enjoyed Helen's acceptance speech and how cute she was doing it, she praised every one of the nominees with her and I loved her for that.

My first cognitive Oscars was probably in 1993 when I was about seven. "Schindler's List" won best picture, 13 year old Anna Paquin won supporting actress and one of my heroes Steven Spielberg won his first Oscar after being nominated numerous times.
That's just a short description of the many award shows that I've loved over the years, lol.

Now, back to the 2008 awards. She finally won!!! Ahh, I'm soo happy for Kate, she beat Meryl Streep just like Hilary did in 1999! (no offense to Meryl, I love her too, lol) Her speech was perfect, I guess practicing in the mirror does help, haha. It makes me want to be her soo bad!

I freaking love the new way the acting categories were presented tonight. Seeing past winners was amazing!! :)

"Slumdog Millionaire" and all its wins were perfect too. Definitely deserving, I absolutely loved that film.

And I can't forget Heath. His family did a great way accepting the award for him and it makes me sad, but grateful that I got to experience all the great work he's done in the short time he was here. I actually wrote a poem the day he died. Here it is...

"Why are you gone
We are listening to sad songs...
...in your memory.
We can't believe it.
We can't describe these feelings we have.
Why'd you go so soon?
We are left with all these questions...
...of why and how.
Please come back to us,
we miss you already."

All I wanna do.

All I wanna do is cry. All day and all night long. I feel like nothing is good enough. I feel like all I do is just get by. I want to make a difference and change the world, but I don't know how. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to offer and I have absolutely no clue what I'm supposed to do with this life. What's going to happen in my future?? Will I prosper?? Will I make the best of this life?? I need some kind of sign or indication of what I need to do. Crying really has been my past-time the last few weeks. I either cry or I yell and get angry at people. What's wrong with me?? What happened to me, am I falling apart?? I need to find a happy medium.

Another thing that has been bothering me is I've never had a certain feeling. And I've never had that certain feeling felt about me in a way that I want it to be experienced. I get the impression that it'll never happen this feeling. I'll never get that certain sensation of being that one thing to another soul. That one thing that makes people embrace that certain feeling or go mad. I would just for once like to be exposed to that sense that I have been missing. Maybe I'm just being selfish, but I don't know...

Saying for this post...

"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead."
— Betrand Russell

late night post

News:
Barack Obama is the new president as of yesterday. It's strange to have something so monumental happen while I'm living. We always hear about history being made and it never seems to happen nowadays, but currently it has. I always think about how extraordinary it was in the 60s and 70s when things were consistantly changing. I dream all the time of how life would have been if I existed during those times.

Life:
I absolutely love food. I wish I would have gone to culinary school, now that would have been something...we always need cooks, lol.

Work:
I really need to find a better paying job. Don't get me wrong, I frickin' love what I do and I love who I work with, but I need something that pays better.
I need to get my hair done too, it's starting to fade.

Sports:
Soo, I'm not too sure on how the NCAA tournament will play out this year. Usually by this time I've picked a winner and I have no clue as of right now!

Okay, here comes an couple old writings of mine.

"What the Fuck?"
What's with this life we are living?
You grow up
Fall in love
Change the world
Hit the floor
We all die
Why can't we fly?
Open the door
to another place
They are all lies
then say goodbyes
Why can't we be free??
-2003
--------------------------------------------
"Boys"
Drop your act
Save your breath
Change your name
Stand up for yourself
Don't be like them
Do whatever you want
Leave out complication
Scare them all away
Stop the stars from moving.
-2006

clean sheets

I love climbing into a bed with clean sheets. They feel outstanding! LOL, just thought I'd share that.
Another love I have, cheddar jalapeno cheetos. They taste like heaven.

Cardinals vs. Steelers will be difficult to watch, but the last few Superbowls have been riveting. I'm sure whoever I pick won't win. I kinda want the Cardinals to win, just cause I usually root for the underdog, but I like the Steelers as well. Either team will be suitable.

I'm sure this blogging thing will come much easier in the days to come.

But, I figured out that amusement I'll place at every finale of each post will be between an old writing of mine or a saying that I enjoy.

Here's a saying that I truly believe:

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
~Gandhi

the beginning is the end is the beginning

So, this is what blogging looks like. Kinda strange, but I guess I can get used to it. I imagine that some day I'll look back at this, like I do with old journals, and see how much I've changed and matured in life.

I don't know what to say, but I have a lot on my mind.
Sometimes I feel good and sometimes I feel like crap. The winter months take a toll on me. I hate not seeing the sun everyday. Certain things can make me happy, but nothing can replace the joy that I have when the sun is out. Work hasn't helped much. People have been at each other's throats and things are changing drastically. I guess that's all I can say about that.

I miss my friends a lot. Being back home is substantial, I see my sister everyday and I love it, but not seeing my friends is difficult. I care for my friends a lot and I hope they know this, even though I'm not visiting them every moment of every day.

Hmmm....I need to figure out something fun to do at the end of each blog, maybe I'll figure that out next time.